Tears

My Mom in September!

My tears are heavy right now and I thought I would fill in the gaps since some of you may not have heard. I went to Florida mid-Sept to help my mom with her end stages of cancer. While there, my dear friend’s husband informed her he no longer loved her and moved in with another woman. All I wanted to do was to be there and comfort her but I was so far away. My mother ended her 5 year battle with lung cancer on 10/16. I was able to be with her at home as she took her last breath. That same day I got word another dear friend who was 45 with 5 children, kindergarten - senior in high school, was nearing the end of her 1 year battle with ovarian cancer. She passed two days after I returned on Oct 25th and we buried her last Saturday (31st). This last Thursday, Nov 5th was Grace's 10th birthday and that evening I got word that a dear sweet sister in the Lord, 32 and a new mommy, succumbed to post-partum depression and took her own life. We buried her Monday (11-9-9). She left behind two sweet girls, a 3 year old and a 4 month old baby. Her husband and our church family are devastated. It all hit me yesterday and I can't seem to stop the tears. I thought they had all dried up but it seems we have ample. Please pray for these families as we seek God’s comfort and trust in His Sovereignty.

Mom's Teapots!

Holding on tight to the last bit of composure remaining; I laid the teapot on the counter and hoped I could get out of there before the flood gates started. It was proving futile as the gallery owner went back to find its proper box. Tears began to well up and I could see by the mirrors set out for customers making jewelry decisions that my face was a few shades redder too. She returned all perky at her conquest of the box but got a puzzled look on her face when she looked at mine. She didn’t ask and I didn’t offer, just thanked her and headed quickly for my truck. Once there I mechanically started the engine and headed down the road where in less than a mile, the deluge happened. Deep sobs from somewhere primal as I looked down at the last teapot I would ever buy for my mother.

She loves the Southwest and in one of her many visits discovered these beautiful Chinese teapots at a little gallery. Each unique; a small triangle, a decorative box, a fish, an owl and still another, a ram. It became a tradition; Christmas, mothers’ day and birthdays. On each I would find another treasure for her to display on her lighted glass shelf.

But I stopped a few years ago, the reasons now seems silly. Since she was in her 3rd or 4th year of battling cancer, I thought perhaps she wouldn’t want me to keep buying something that she wouldn’t be able to enjoy for years to come. Then there is the selfish (I can’t believe I’m even admitting it) reason…guess who is going to end up getting those little dust collectors. I know…bad daughter, shame on me.

But something changed recently when I heard the cancer had now spread throughout her system. It changed from that unknown time frame of still fighting, to the realization that time was now very short. Anyone who deals with cancer knows you live in a kind of limbo land, a time warp world, never knowing what the future holds, unable to plan and your life seems to be in a bit of a holding pattern. But with this latest prognosis and the realization that time was now limited, it hit me that TODAY, she is still very much alive, she still appreciates beautiful things and she still loves teapots. I had an urgent sense to run down to that little gallery and see what new treasure I could find her. And believe it or not, I’m looking forward to those teapots (no longer dust collectors) sitting on my shelf to remind me, not only of her, but that each and every day we are still very much alive.
So today, I bought her a teapot.

~~~~~~~~~~ TOS Crew Review ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ The 2009-2010 Schoolhouse Planner ~~~

When I was asked to review this item for The Old Schoolhouse Crew Review, my first impression was…WOWZA! Before seeing it I thought I would just print it out, casually look it over and write my review. Well I didn’t have an extra REAM of paper! This thing is chock-o-block full of information for any family, homeschooled or not! With almost 375 pages, I don’t think there is a form I could possibly need that’s not in this thing. From “Menu Planners” to “Website Login/Password Quick Reference” pages, it’s pretty all encompassing.


The first few pages are the 2009-2012 calendars for planning ahead. Then there are 12 monthly sections, each with an article (i.e. July is “The Thirteen Colonies”), a resource list and two yummy recipes to try each month.


The next pages are Miscellaneous Educational Information (i.e. Famous Composers, Timeline of Inventions etc.)and Homeschool Forms (Annual Plans, Progress Reports, Field Trip Planning etc.).


And finally Household Forms to wrap it up! These last 100+ pages have a number of topics from Contact Lists, Medical Health Info, Budget Record Sheets and even a Garden Planning page! Who would have thought? Well...actually...they did!

Don't take my word for it...read other Crew Member reviews of "The Planner" at The Crew Review.

NOTE: This is an "ebook" in PDF format and what's really nice is you can type on the pages to fill out the forms. One reviewer said she even created a planner for her daughter with just the pages she needed. That is Way Cool!

Take a closer look and purchase the 2009-2010 Schoolhouse Planner from The Old Schoolhouse Store for $39.00. If you purchase before July 12, 2009, you will also receive the 2008 Schoolhouse Planner Useful Excerpts ebook.

Home School Buyers Co-op

This is to all my friends with kids, home schooled or not. A lot of what is sold on the HSBCO can be used as supplement or great summer review work. Enjoy!

If you don't belong to the Home School Buyers Co-op, I highly recommend it. I have gotten several things from them and have been happy with each. It's free to join.

The Home School Buyers Co-op is currently offering "Quarter Mile Math" for $33.50 with free shipping from manufacturer (plus $3 Co-op fee) it normally costs around $70 for some of the versions. This is for the "Deluxe" version which is a 3 year subscription and contains all 3 levels.

The program is a math review program for K-9th. I'm ordering for the addition and multiplication fact review (2nd level) that I was planning to do this summer. Looks like they have incredible results and it is used in all the Sylvan Learning Schools. Kind of like flashcards but it is set up in a car (or horse) race format and they compete against their own scores. It can also be set up for a home School group to compete with the other kids in the group if there is enough signed up.


I just ordered the complete Chester Comics series (27 books). They were recommended by Carol Barnier who taught on the HSLDA (Home School Legal Defense Asso.)webinar "Teaching the Highly Distractible Child" she has written "If I'm Diapering a Watermelon, What'd I Do With the Baby?" and "How to Get Your Child Off the Refrigerator and On To Learning" Those HSLDA webinars are great too! She said this comics series was a great way to get Highly distractible kids engaged and it was a wonderful history series. After looking at them I agree. They come with teacher books as well.

Just some reviews for you and letting you know of a great Co-op.

Cinco de Mayo!

Spring Has Sprung!!!
Last week we got back from Mickyland! We had been saving our pennies and were finally able to go. It was a good time of year to go as it was not very crowded M-W but started getting more on Th and Friday was too crowded for me. But still a good time of year to go.
We had stopped at the Grand Canyon first as that was were we told the girls we were taking them. It wasn't till we were just outside Pheonix that we told them where we were really going. Here are some pics!














We had a great time as a family!

Yesterday, however, was an emotional day as we relinquished our parental rights to Mercy. Before leaving for court we, as a family, prayed and thanked the Lord for the blessing of her being a part of our lives and that we were able to bring her here. We thanked Him for the family who now have her and love her dearly and how perfect they are for her and how perfect God's plan is. We know He has mighty things in store for her.

Goodbye Old Friend!

It wasn't as traumatic as the Expedition, but the departure of my 1992 Honda Civic was a sad day! I bought it as a single young lady 17 years ago and paid off my 5 year loan in 3 years, living off Top Raman to pay it off early. I think I paid $12K for it new. The odometer broke about 8 years ago at 250K. It was my husbands commuter car (65 miles round trip to work) the last 12 years so we are fairly certain it had over 400K miles on it when we parted ways yesterday!
It was Grace's first ride as it was the car we drove her home from the hospital in over 9 years ago. Oh the memories, but my husband wasn't willing to fix her up any longer and now with a blown head gasket...that was the limit. It would have cost more to fix than it was worth. Goodbye Old Friend!

MY FIST RIDE!


Broke about 8 years ago. We think it was more like 400,000!

TOS Book Reviews

The Old Schoolhouse is a website of amazing resources for homeschoolers. From encouraging articles to a storefront of curriculum, encouraging books in the Lord and so much more.

Recently I saw they were looking for reviewers for educational resources from different vendors. “What? Me? Give my opinion? I just don’t know!” Right now, anyone who knows me is rolling on the floor, laughing hysterically, as opinions just seem to burst forth from my mouth or fingertips to my blog: the latest book I read, a restaurant I've eaten at, a forwarded email or birthday present given (see “Hey Little Buddy” a few blog posts down where I reviewed the Gilligan’s Island DVD series I received this year)!

I was asked to review an E-Book called “HomeWork” and TOS’s WeE-Book publications, three of my choosing. They are wee little writings or articles by different authors on several topics. I chose 1.“The “Me Time” Myth”, 2. “Lincoln vs. Darwin, What’s the Difference?” and 3. “10 Big Reasons NOT to Send Christian Kids to Public Schools Today”. Since my last blog entry was on this topic and because it is the only one I had a bit of criticism on, I will start with number 3.

TOS WeeBook: 10 Big Reasons NOT to Send Christian Kids to Public Schools Today By David d’Escoto.
An excellent breakdown of just that: 10 reasons why NOT to. Most are reasons my husband and I already hold credence to and some I had not considered. There were facts that made me think and ideas that reinforced why I am doing what I’m doing. I feel for d’Escoto’s passion and I absolutely agree with his 10 reasons NOT to. My only bit of criticism would be that it would contained a bit more Grace. I’m sure Mr. d’Escoto is a loving Christian man with a big heart, as his passion and knowledge on the subject showed, but I had to ignore the last line of his article “If you truly care about your children’s spiritual good, then please remove them from your local public school.” I believe God is bigger than public schools and can work in a child’s life to become the man or woman HE intends for them regardless of their outside influences. I just don’t think we should assume that parents that send their children to public schools do not “truly care about their children’s spiritual good.” The article is very informative and every Christian should seriously consider all the “why’s” and “why not’s”, then prayerfully go before the Lord and hear how He is directing each parent individually.

TOS WeeBook: Lincoln vs. Darwin by Deborah Wuehler
This is a wonderful article that brought out such interesting facts about two very influential men born on the exact same day. PBS recently aired a documentary comparing their lives. While that documentary was secular, Deborah’s article showered us with wonderful insight into the spiritual lives of the two men. It was refreshing, interesting and piqued my interest to dig deeper and find out more. I'm sure it would spark any homeschooler to do the same!

TOS WeeBook: The “Me Time” Myth by Amy Roberts
This was most definitely an “ouch” read. Her article is very convicting and oh so truthful. How easily are we swayed into believing we need to “get away” and retreat from our responsibilities so that we may be filled back up, there by, becoming a better person to handle our responsibilities more fully. “Then why” asks Amy, “did my search for this hollowed “me time” always leave me feeling as though I needed more?” I had to ask myself "When I come home from a “retreat”, am I happy to see my children and husband and the dirty dishes and pile of clothes they left on the floor?" "Do I do those dishes and laundry with a glad heart excited and fulfilled to get back to my responsibilities?" Gulp! Amy graciously breaks down the myth and points us back to the cross and the maker of our fulfillment. This is a must read, but be ready for the Lord to speak to your heart. Most refreshing and very convicting!

TOS HomeWork: Juggling Home, Work, and School Without Losing Your Balance
HomeWork is a compilation of 14 stay-at-home moms balancing a work-at-home job while schooling their children. Each tell their stories of how they got started, how it evolved into what it is today, what worked, what didn’t, how their families are involved and how it affects them. It is filled with excellent ideas of how you too could get started if their particular job was something you might be interested in. Complete with websites and how to email each individually to “chat” further in the matter. There were several I can’t wait to email and pick their brains as to how I might make it work for me. There was a final chapter called “Tricks of the Trade” which had invaluable pointers into keeping your finances organized (as explained by a stay-at-home schooling CPA mom) as well has how to get and stay organized in your home.
While I do have my own S-Corporation as a Real Estate Appraiser, I wished I had had this information when I started. Trial and error can be costly. Like I said it was invaluable, not to mention I felt like I was gleaning from dear sweet sisters I have known for years.
This book brought shear delight to my heart as there were so many articles that gave me ideas and spurred me on to pursue other avenues I feel the Lord has been opening. It was definitely dropped from above. I can’t wait to see where it all leads!

The Old Schoolhouse is an amazing site of resources and information for young and old. I hope you get a chance to stop by and look it over.

What Do You Think?

Quote and question from: Joyfully Living for His Glory
"But this past year, as I try to pursue my lifelong dream of being a published writer, I have learned to lay down my idea of success and God is opening many new doors. He started with releasing me from homeschooling, which led me to write my first published clip on school choice!"

I ran across this quote several months ago. I couldn't even tell you where, when or who said it now. It just intrigued me so much that I copied it and saved it in my "to think about later" file.

What do you think?

My answer:
The first reaction was "What? RELEASE you from the privilege of teaching your children as though they are a shackle to you. Just so you could sit at your computer and pour out your soul to it instead!
But I then remember the difficulties I have. The days when that little yellow school bus looks really good! Taking on adoptive children so far behind and trying to catch them up is a huge challenge. If there were severe learning disabilities in the mix, I'm not sure my sanity would be in tact (and the jury is still out on that one anyway). I have to remember one thing...I want my children Heaven bound, not Harvard bound. My dearest friend and die hard advocate for home schooling ended up sending her youngest daughter to a Christian school because of their relationship. Her role as a teacher to this child, while succeeding with the older ones, just had fireworks and hatred from both of them. Sometimes it's ok to "release" for the sake of relationship and the purpose of His Glory.
We all have our seasons, mine happens to be home schooling through "mental"pause! Sometimes not a good mix, but God has not "released" me. I still see it as my privilege and pray for Him to fill in the gaps and erase my children's memory of my impatience and rantings. And then there are women who would not make very good mommies from jail, which is where they would end up if they did attempt home schooling. Then there's the child, perhaps he/she is gifted or has a learning disability that a particular school can ideally have them grow in or meet that need.
We each must hear from the Lord. We must go before Him in prayer, check our motivations, then ask Him to reveal HIS desire (for us and our children) and then surrender...for His Glory.

So - What do you think?

At the Well: Opening Day!

The opening day of “At the Well” caught me in a treacherous storm. One that has been brewing for several months and is now in hurricane proportions. I think I have gone through the eye and hope I am on the backside. I long to sit in that calm just after, with the birds once again soaring about and rays of sunshine streaming through a sky full of clouds to the sea below, letting me know that I have survived, that I have gone through and not faltered to a place my Master called me, matured me in an area that was unpleasing to Him. I had welcomed the storm when it came, pleased that He entrusted me to grow, but as I said, I am in the midst. I am hankered down, many days holed up in my room crying out to the creator of storms, not to calm it, but that I may see and understand the purpose.
And while there are still dinners to be made, laundry to wash and children to teach, I have gone into mechanical Titus 2 mode with a tear near falling at each task.

Today is opening day for At The Well and we are asked the following questions:

When you read the Scripture found in Titus 2: 2-5, how do you see this playing out in your own life?

What are your areas of strength? Of weakness?

If you could set some sort of goal in relation to this Scripture, what would it be?

So, how do I see Titus 2:2-5 playing out in my own life? Well, right now, I can’t. I AM however, holding on to my precious Savior to love the place where I am at. Today, I am a mechanical Titus 2 woman on the outside, just going through the motions, while inwardly I am hankered down, clinging to His Word, His Promises that I might soon blossom into a better, more mature Titus 2 Woman.

Strengths and weaknesses when not in a storm:
The Lord has taught me much in the area of Eph 4:29 (life verse)…”Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”
This is a daily (hourly) battle. But because it is, I am very sensitive to it when others violate it, which allows me to (graciously I hope) confront others or simply walk away when it’s not, so that I may not partake.
I daily struggle with how to love and understand my husband in the ways he needs. I laugh (with tears sometimes) at the irony of a “take charge” woman coming along side a “passive” man. God is prompting both of us to step out of our learned roles and reprogram us, with abundant grace, into the roles He designed. Stepping back and letting my husband lead. Ouch! How do I counsel the younger ones when I struggle so? I welcome any older advice in this area.

Setting a goal in relation to this Scripture: That I would step out and to come along side and to encourage others more. The problem with storms is you can barely see two feet in front of you and even in the midst of one (for who know how long they might last) I want to look past my torrent of waves and reach out to others.

Hey Little Buddy!

Well today is my birthday and so that I can spend my last year on THIS side of the hill reminiscing, my family bought me the entire third season of Gilligan's Island! Too Funny! (I think the complete 1st season is in a wrapped package on the table to be opened at my party tonight). It was my all time favorite show and would rush home from school and watch Channel 6 for the line up of My Three Sons, I Love Lucy, Family Affair, My Favorite Martian. Beverly Hillbillies and of course Gilligan. Then came The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family and then my then new best favorite "The Walton's".
I worried putting my first disc of Gilligan in the player as I had such fond memories and didn't want to mess that up by discovering something through adult eyes. The first thing I thought was I didn't remember Ginger's clothes being so beautiful and vibrant. I just remembered one long evening gown with beads all over it. She seems to wear a new outfit every show but I'm loving the colors too. Then it hit me. That little TV set I sat in front of after school was a black and white! I never saw it in color! Talk about feeling old! And remember when Cinderella and the Wizard of Oz came on only once a year and you couldn't wait. No Beta, VHS, DVD's or Blue Ray! Once a year, that's it, ya snooze ya loose! It was the only time mom could get us to eat brussel sprouts were on those nights those very special shows came on.
But back to Gilligan...It was so innocent...well sort of, I forgot how voluptuous Ginger was not to mention full of herself. Do I really want my "I can't wait to be a teenager" daughter to have Ginger as a role model. A Barbie doll in real skin! In one episode Ginger did her Marilyn Monroe imitation singing "I want to be loved by you...boo boopy do!" Last night when Grace was in the bathroom brushing her teeth I hear her in there singing it complete with "boo booby do" No telling what expressions were happening in the mirror. I didn't dare look.
But here were a group of 7 VERY different people stranded, having to deal with one another and while the Skipper was always frustrated with Gilligan and the Thurston Howle thought of everything in terms of money...they really did care for one another. I hear tale of survival shows today and they sound like it's all pretty cut throat, save your own skin, to heck with helping someone else. Now we don't watch TV so I don't know for sure but we do watch two shows on Sunday AFV and Extreme Home Makeover but after Feb 17 those will be gone too. No need to buy the box, I have discovered that while EM has great stories in it my daughter's response is "We should send them our story (not sure what that would be) so we can get a new house instead of this old thing." THIS OLD THING??!!! The one we got to upgrade from? The one we are barely making the mortgage on since I quite work but we love it so we stay?! So my daughter is not learning to be content with the blessing she has (wonder where she got that, yes, He is convicting me) but feel we could do with out that show too and focus on the blessings we do have instead. And AFV is online so hey..who needs TV. The News? Nope, get the latest headlines on my opening news page online. And when I'm driving around and see a flag at half mast...I start asking around.
So here I am, still on this side of the hill for another year. Or as my dad puts it...when your 1, your done being 1, you're now working on 2. So if I use that logic I guess I am done with THIS side of the hill and can only hope that the next birthday I will be at the peak! After that...all bets are off!

At The Well

As I stumbled on the last post...I also stumbled into a Virtual Well. The place where women use to gather in Titus's day.
It is having it's kickoff on Monday, February 2nd (complete with prizes). So click on the link to the left and join us at The Well!

“But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Titus 2: 1-5

It's Not Fair!

I stumbled upon this post about creating contentment and couldn't say it any better! I have been struggling with this notion of "fairness" and the heart that it breeds. She put it in to perspective well. Enjoy!

Christmas 2008

We started off going through Amarillo, Texas



You can see by the telephone poles how big this cross is and below it are bronze sculputes of Jesus last walk to the cross with a sculture of the last supper and the three crosses. Amazing


On to Memphis to visit old family friends from childhood.
L to R:Sisters Dana and Lisa, Me. Front: Rebel

Hallie and Chuck

Hallie and the girls.


We ended up at the Florida beach to have a family reunion for Christmas.






Finding Shells




Our Christmsas Tree



The girls got new "Hair Pieces" for stocking stuffers

Yet ANOTHER fried fish dinner, but oh so good!



My sister Lisa and brother-in-law Tim.


On to Florabama where you can eat at a resturant right on the line!

Two Dreamers


We wore them out!


After my aunts passing, her son, Brian, brought her ashes to the bay where she wanted to be. The memorial was complete with Mardi Gras beads!

Her final resting place is right where that seagull is.

Grace trying to understand death.

Brians daughter, Lora with Mr. Bojangles, who is quite the cutie!